by Brian Walker, Greg Walker and Chance Browne
Hi and Lois Sunday page digital proof, September 10, 2006. Lois Flagston started working as a real estate agent in 1980.  We like to think she is more honest than most sales people. In the episode above we had some fun with a few of the typical terms real estate agents often use by graphically showing their true meaning. Here are some other examples of real estate jargon. Charming: means they couldn’t think of a more appropriate word. Needs a Little TLC: means it needs about $45,000 dollars or more in renovations and repairs. Won’t Last Long at This Price: means the price is so low it will compel you to see it but it will take a miracle for you to want to buy it. Close To Schools: means get a good set of ear plugs and get used to solicitors. Walk to Shopping: means the liquor store is across the street. Off Street Parking: means that you park in an alley. Fixer Upper: means fixing absolutely everything on an upper-end unlimited budget. Loaded With Potential: means loaded with problems the seller didn’t want to tackle. Cute: means they couldn’t think of any other possible way to describe it. Great Bones: means you’re going to have to gut it and rebuild. For Sale By Owner: means you better come with your Agent or a Lawyer to negotiate. Wooded / Shaded Lot: means surrounded by trees and leaves on the ground. Sold As Is: means don’t even think about asking for any repairs. No Disclosures: means you’re going to have to find out all the problems with the home on your own. This One Won’t Last: means literally, it’s about to fall to the ground. Cozy: means it’s very very small. Spacious: means it’s the only good thing they could say about it. Tenants Already In Place: means you’re going to have to kick them out if you want to live in the home. All Systems in Place: means the vac and electrical wiring and copper hasn’t been stolen yet. This One Won’t Last, Hurry: means I need offers to impress my seller because I’m not sure if I can sell the house or not? Gorgeous Water Views: means you’re literally soaking in it. Great Potential for Renovation: means you may be able to repair it or you may have to tear it down and rebuild. Mature Trees: means get them checked, they’re likely dead and going to fall any day now. Great Investment Opportunity: means you wouldn’t want to live there. Quiet Established Neighborhood: means it’s quiet because all the other homes on the block are abandoned. Use Caution When Viewing Property: means don’t go inside. Gated Community: means all your neighbors will be prisoners and convicts. Schedule Appointment for Showing: means the place is definitely haunted! Next week we will feature another classic Sunday page from 2006 so stay tooned. – Brian Walker

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